And just like that, another summer is drawing to a close and many of us are wondering how it became almost September already. I am also in disbelief that I have travelled this far through my forties in what feels like the blink of an eye. Seriously, can it really be true?! Yet here's why this birthday felt like my calmest yet, and why I'm putting reinvention front and centre for the years ahead...
I was in our camper van, on a campsite in the heart of the Dordogne when I woke up on July 29th (it was already 32 degrees by 10am – the hot flushing could be a whole other blog post) and realised I was 49. It's funny how you have 364 days to get used to a certain age and yet when the day comes it can still hit you with a bang akin to the sound of a mozzie being swatted against a windscreen – I did a LOT of that in our camper van this summer, let me tell you. But this year was different. There were no birthday tears. In recent years, birthdays have often led to me blubbing for inexplicable reasons. I find birthdays weird. Too much pressure to be happy perhaps? Too much anxiety that my husband will give me an unwrapped milk frother as the big gift? (I'm over it. Honest.) Yet this year there was no anxiety. I felt calm. I felt peaceful. I felt happy.
Cal Newport, author of 'Slow Productivity' suggests a practice of using your birthday to take a full day to be away from normal things and work on a vision for what you want your life to look like in the year ahead. He says he begins thinking about it in advance, and 'ritualises' his birthday as a moment to reflect. It's certainly true that when you hit midlife you feel time more strongly, so this feels like a relevant moment to take stock of how you feel about where you are, and where you want to be.
Perhaps I had been doing this subconsciously for the last few years and that is why I have found birthdays weird, unsettling, because I knew deep down that I wasn't where I wanted to be in my career, but I wasn't doing anything about it. The thing I woke up thinking this year is that at last - on this birthday - that little voice in my head that has been asking 'should I change direction in my career?', was finally silenced. 'I've done it,' I said to myself, 'And I am proud of myself.' And I gave myself an imaginary pat on the back. As if reading my mind, my husband commented on the exact same thing that morning too, sensing my serenity.
The rest of the day continued like most others on our French camping holiday - packing, unpacking, cooking, eating, washing up, reading, going to the pool, breaking up squabbling boys. That evening, I raised my glass of rose over dinner at golden hour, and celebrated the beautiful power of reinvention and the calm excitement I now feel for the decade ahead, because I made this happen. Making a change to any aspect of life is hard, but boldness is where the magic happens. You have to act – and you can start today.
The following day, we stopped the van suddenly by the side of the road to admire the most stunning field of golden sunflowers which appeared to stretch on to the horizon. It felt prophetic - for I feel in the last year as though a golden opportunity has presented itself to me and I have grasped it. It hasn't happened by magic, of course, I have worked hard for it, retraining as a life coach and switching my career making full use of all the wisdom and contacts gained during my media days, for a greater purpose and ultimately to support others. There have been many days where my confidence has lacked, but I have kept going.
This post is not intended to make you feel worried if you have not yet worked out what's next for you – it is to provide hope that it is possible, and that the reward is great.
Many of you are already aware of my Rosie's Reinvention Retreats mission - to provide a series of supportive, inspiring day retreats for midlife women to take a pause from everyday life and put the focus on personal development. You have worked so hard, you deserve this opportunity.
This unique retreat will give you the space to step away for a moment, to reflect with leading experts in their fields, and then tentatively organise how you're going to make a start. We'll take the baby steps together.
There are still a few early-bird places left on Rosie's Reinvention Retreats at Fairmont, Windsor Park on 16-18 October 2024 where we will tackle career reinvention, small business reinvention and wellbeing reinvention. Prices are £249 for a full day of coaching, refreshments, lunch, spa time, and conversations with top experts and personalities, plus a luxury goodie bag, when you use the discount code FWPEARLYBIRD to apply a discount. I mean it really will feel like your birthday! Secure your spot now, as places are very limited at this price. After the earlybird's have sold it will be £299 per day.
Whatever you do, don't delay. Use September as your chance to press reset and begin your transition. This is your year to bloom in a new way.
For the record, the husband did good and didn't give me another milk frother-esque gift. Although, ironically, we could have done with one while camping!